Habits are those things that we do everyday – mostly without thinking about them. A habit as ‘an acquired pattern of behavior that often occurs automatically’. It’s worth reading Wikipedia’s short article on ‘habit (psychology)‘ for a better understanding of this very human topic.
When we stop to reflect on what we actually do, we know intuitively that our habits are helping us to succeed or are holding us back – maybe even killing us slowly! We know instinctively that ‘It’s what we do everyday that counts’.
We are justifiably proud of our positive habits – they make us feel good about ourselves. At the same time, we feel a sense of weakness or inner tension when it comes to our ‘bad’ habits. We know we need to get rid of them – but how? The longer we’ve been doing them, the harder it seems to ‘break’ them. What will it take for me to change?
The Internet and bookshops are full of tips on how to be successful – especially when it comes to ‘habits’. Most of them recommend replacing ‘bad’ habits with good habits rather than fighting yourself. Not a bad strategy; however, in the end you will need to say ‘no’ when you find yourself reverting to that behaviour that you have decided to stop doing.
Most of these sources provide a perspective and good advice on how to become better people. There is so much advice out there that it’s sometimes hard to know what to focus on. Do I try the five tips, the six, the seven, the nine, the fifteen, the seventeen tips and so on??
Experience tells us that you will succeed if you pick just a few things and work on them until you succeed. Behavioral gurus tell us that it takes 21-30 days to create a new habit – try about 90 days to make it an automatic acquired pattern of behavior. Sounds like a long time; however, it is not as long as the 5, 10, 20 or more years that you’ve been doing something that you want to change about you.
The most important decision to make is to ‘be happy and positive’ – there are enough miserable, negative people out there. Decide to be proud of who you are and all of your positives – on a daily basis. Smile occasionally. Who knows, you might even like yourself – we hope you do!
The next thing is to work on – everyday – are the two or three things you want to change about you. If it helps, write yourself some ‘self-instructions’ on your new habits. Keep them on a small card and leave it somewhere that you will see them when you get up in the morning and before you go to bed at night. Read your self-instructions out to yourself every morning and every night – make a habit of it! You might feel a little silly at first; however, you will be amazed at how this habit will help to change how your patterns of behaviour and how you feel about you. Maybe your first self-instructinons is: I read myself instructions twice each day …
By all means do a bit of research about this intensely human and interesting challenge of controlling our habits – psychologists much of their lives studying habits. In the end, only action and commitment will enable you to become a better you.
Remember: It’s what you do everyday that counts!
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